Warning: Katy did NOT dump me…but someone else did…
For reasons I cannot explain, I happened to notice on Wednesday that I had 240 FB friends. First of all, thanks, gang, for staying with me. On Thursday, I had 239.
Someone dumped me.
But it wasn’t you, since, ya know, you’re reading this.
So…thanks again! Glad we’re still cool.
I know people clean out their friends list all the time. It’s a digital way to avoid actual cleaning. I get that. A lot of people go on to advertise the fact that they just dumped a lot of people and that the people reading that post should be happy they “made the cut.” Thus, it can be encouraging and uplifting to start your day learning that your friend is still your friend and not some evil bastard who was tired of reading your BS all the time about your stupid life and got a millisecond of thrill by cliicking that “delete this a-hole” button or whatever it says.
But I have a hard time believing someone was tired of MY BS. I mean…c’mon!
The second part of this is about the Cracker Barrel. As anyone who could possible care to read this far already knows, I will no longer be employed at the Cracker Barrel as of Wednesday. After four plus years, I’m burning my aprons and moving on. I’ve met a lot of really great people (some are reading this right now!) and made some lasting friendships. Above all, I met Katy there in December 2009, and my life has been pretty much AWESOME ever since.
Oh, the reason I’m leaving:
My big brother (who may or may not be 40 in 8 days) is an associate manager with the company and was given a transfer back to Terre Haute from the store where he started in Troy, IL (town motto: “We’re not St. Elmo, but We’re Close…Sorta!”). The company policy restricts relatives to work subservient to one another in the the same store.
Like with any job, there will be things I miss and things I don’t. You decide which one applies to the following list:
1. Making hot teas
2. Getting a guest “cleaner” silverware
4. newly baked croutons
5. asking eight different people at the same table whether or not he or she would like whte or brown gravy on his or her mashed potatoes
6. helping Amy D with juice
7. rolling 125 (yeah right) silveware
8. two dollars from any four-top
9. the entire store tensing up when Ray walks in
10. getting mugs
11. sheesh this list could go on forever…..
12. cheese wedges
13. sweeping the same spot over and over with no success of getting whateverthehellthatis to move into the dustpan
14. watching Frank swipe a milk/banana/handful of cherries (no exaggeration, trust me!)
15. being informed of any goal hour made that has absolutely no effect on my pay
16. okay i’m done…but there’s tons more
With school starting soon anyway, it’s good timing. I may still get a second job somewhere…we’ll see. I’m sure you’re all dying to know what my future is with any other restaurant or whatever. You’re sweet to feign interest. That’s the sign of a true FB friend!
Anyway, that’s it. I know this note wasn’t nearly as funny/annoying as the others have been.
OLIVER, DON’T CHEW MY TOES!
But it’s what’s on my mind….and I’m supposed to write that, according to Jesse Eisenberg or whomever
(yes, WHOMEVER is right because it’s the objective case, not the nominative case pronoun in this instance)