More Unsolicited Advice to my Son


Okay, my boy.  It’s been about three months since you exited your mother and entered Terre Haute Union Hospital Birth Suite 5.  Right now, I’m absolutely in love with you primarily because you successfully went to sleep after only about 90 minutes of Mom and me doing everything in our growing book of tricks.  Don’t get me/us wrong:  we adore playing with you, reading to you, laughing with you and all of the other wonderful stuff that goes with raising a child.  It’s just…our sleep schedules aren’t exactly synced yet.  Again, we will never stop loving you but your resilience to sleep is Ghandi-like sometimes.  As i type this on a frosty Sunday morning, you’re currently swaying back and forth and Mom is getting some well-deserved sleep.  I’m typing this silly blog and wishing Starbucks delivered.  Anyway, I bought this new laptop the other day (yes, the one you will make fun of in about six years) and read through some old blogs from before you were born.  I’m going to add a few things to my list of things to think about/do as you grow up and become your own man.  Dads apparently do this stuff, so I feel an obligation.  Of course, you can always ask for advice yourself when you’re able to form words other than “Bhzghpl” and “Hiccup.”

11.  Don’t encourage us to carve the pumpkins too early.  There’s nothing scarier than a maniacal jack-o-lantern whose teeth are literally rotting.

12.  All that candy you will accumulate between now and the year that trick-or-treating becomes “stupid” or “medically disastrous” is for the family.   Think of it as your once-a-year contribution to the Lively Food Pantry.

13.  Never end a list of anything with 13.  It’s a stupid superstition, but you come from creative genes so just come up with more.

14.  You owe your mother….freaking everything.  It’s a simple fact.  So, this is less advice and more of an apology in advance in case I smack you in the head for being rude to your mother.  If we had the technology, we would have been recording everything so you can have an idea what she does for you every blanking day.

15.  Acting on impulse is among the most exhilarating aspects of being alive.  Just.  Be.  Safe.  🙂

More later.  I’m going back to my novel.  Or maybe get coffee.


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